Values: what are they and why are they good for us?
What are they?
A value is a deeply held belief or principle that guides your decisions, shapes your priorities, and influences how you behave in the world. It is a word such as Honesty, Belonging, Freedom, Ambition, Imagination, Consistency, Spirituality.
It is important to know the sentence that is attached to your value. For example, I value Giving. I would define that as: giving my time and energy to other people to help them grow. Someone else’s definition of Giving could be: helping underprivileged people who are in need of a hand up in life.
You will likely have 3-5 core values that guide your life and typically they will be in a ranked order. The ranking is important because sometimes you will feel uneasy about a decision. Once you know your values, you will begin to understand why - because it is likely a values clash. For example, you might value Honesty and Harmony. So what do you do when someone has wronged you? Do you tell them they wronged you, or do you maintain the peace? Well, it depends what is more important to you out of Honesty and Harmony.
Finally, your values and their relative importance will change throughout your life as your circumstances change - that’s totally normal!
Here are a bunch of common values - which ones represent you?
Why do we need it?
Knowing your values is fundamental to living a life of more meaning and purpose, for these main reason:
It helps you prioritise: when you know what you value, you can better figure out who and what is and isn’t important in your life.
It helps you live authentically: when you know you are the type of person who is honest, you are much more likely to be an honest person!
You have less regret: you will be able to look back on decisions you’ve made and say, “yep, I had that difficult conversation because I value honesty.”
How do we figure out our values?
Ask yourself these four questions, following our W.I.S.H framework:
Wish: what do you wish you saw more of in the world? This unlocks your aspirations for yourself and the world. Maybe you wish you saw more Fairness?
Instinct: what do you instinctively take a stand for? Remember that time you stood up for a wrong or when you volunteered for something nobody else wanted? What value is hiding there?
Stories: what stories do you want people to tell about you at your funeral? Fast forward to the end of your life - what will people be saying about you?
Hate: what really drives you mad!? The opposite of this is usually a sign of a value. If you hate disorder, maybe you value Structure?
Where to get started
Follow the W.I.S.H. formula, look for the themes across your answers, and choose 3-5 values from the list above.
Write a one sentence definition of each one.
Rank them in order of importance from 1-5.
