Three questions for leaders to level up 1:1 Communication using CliftonStrengths
Communicate to be heard by the audience
When it comes to communication, most leaders focus solely on what they want to say - the words, the structure, the delivery. This stuff matters, but the mistake in this approach is to see communication purely as a one-way broadcast, rather than as something which should be shaped based on how the other person is wired to best receive it.
The Lens
Here's a better way to think about it: everyone of your team members is running the conversations you have with them through a different lens.
CliftonStrengths groups the 34 strengths into four domains - Strategic Thinking, Executing, Influencing and Relationship Building. Their dominant domain (i.e. the domain in which most of their 10 strengths lie) shapes what they actually hear when you talk to them.
Someone strong in Executing hears a rambling, big-picture pitch and wonders when you'll get to the point. Someone strong in Strategic Thinking hears a rapid-fire list of action items and wonders why you haven’t asked "why" yet. Same conversation with two completely different experiences.
So, the real question we as leaders want to be asking ourselves is: "how do I communicate in a way this specific person is best wired to receive it?" Here's how we help our clients do it, through these three questions.
If you’d like to understand more about Clifton Strengths, check out our article here.
#1 "When I bring you something, do you want the headline or the rationale first?"
Most leaders default to their preference.
If you’re wired for Strategic Thinking, you open with context and nuance. If you’re wired for Executing, you open with the ask. Neither is wrong. But delivered to the wrong person, both could land flat.
People with Strengths like Analytical or Ideation want to see the thinking. People with Strengths like Achiever or Focus want to see the next step. So, ask each of your team members: "When I bring you something, do you want the headline or the rationale first?"
#2 "How do you want me to share feedback?”
Someone strong in Influencing themes - such as Command, Communication or Woo - often builds trust through direct challenge and lively debate. Give them live, challenging feedback on an idea of theirs and they lean in and get energised.
Someone strong in Relationship Building themes - such as Harmony, Empathy, Includer - can experience that same in the moment challenge as conflict and it can erode their trust in you.
Ask each of your team members how they want to receive feedback, then build your approach for each of them around their individual answers, rather than around what feels most natural to you.
#3 "How do you like to be recognised when you've done something well?"
This is the one most leaders never think to ask their team members. We often assume recognition is universally well received - a shout-out in the team meeting, a mention in the company newsletter. But that assumes that we all process praise in the same way and we don’t.
Someone strong in Woo or Significance often appreciates when that recognition is made public, the bigger the stage the better. Someone strong in Restorative or Consistency can find public praise uncomfortable and would rather hear it from you in a one to one.
Get this wrong and well-intentioned praise can miss the mark. So, ask the question, then recognise each of your people in the way they actually want to be recognised, not in the way that's easiest for you to give it in.
One size does not fit all
The skill, and the art, of great leadership 1-1 communication isn't finding the one approach that works for everyone (there isn’t one). It's building the range to adapt your communication style, team member by team member.
In that way, each of your team members feel heard, valued and understood, dramatically increasing their engagement and trust in you, as their leader.
If you’re interested in how we help teams understand and deploy their strengths, get in touch.
